


Music And Sex And The Shitty Band Mate That’s The Muse For Both Of Those Things

by DeathsLastPrayer



Series: A Series of Unrelated Events Starring Jean x Eren [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Enemies that have sex and later become lovers/friends, M/M, Sex, and love is in there too, band mates - Freeform, me shamelessly writing about my music obsession through Eren and Jean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 20:58:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathsLastPrayer/pseuds/DeathsLastPrayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Which: Eren's in love with music and he wants to share that love with the world so Armin helps him start a band and then Armin convinces him that Jean needs to be in it because they have musical chemistry -whatever the hell that means. </p><p>Or the one where Eren and Jean hate each other but they (eventually) solve that problem through sex and music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Music And Sex And The Shitty Band Mate That’s The Muse For Both Of Those Things

* * *

#####  I. 

* * *

When he’s three, he knows its love. Knows with all of his heart and soul and the purity of his young ears that he’s absolutely smitten with one thing: music. 

Loves the mixing and melding of melodies, harmonies, and rhythms into gorgeous strings of notes and cords. Loves the thud and scattering of bass or treble. Loves light and dark tones that play off of one another to create something soothing or something foreboding. Then there are pitches… tweaking a pitch ever so slightly can change a song entirely. Make it heaven or hell for the ears. 

Magic. Pure, unadulterated, magic. 

Yeah. Eren is in love with everything that music encompasses. When he mixes and meshes each individual component, he falls even deeper. To the point where sound streams through his blood and pumps life through his veins and he craves it like his lungs crave oxygen. 

Music is his never yielding obsession. Which he turns into his way of life and follows through with religiously (no matter where it takes him or who it brings him to or what direction it churns his soul) because he’s infatuated with finding/creating _his_ sound but that comes later. 

So, Eren is in love with music. 

Which he knows by the age of three. 

His parents don’t know until he’s five –when he’s tinkering with a piano at the mall and he tinkers until he produces something cute and wonderful. 

It makes his mother ask, “Who taught you to play that?” 

Eren tells her, “I jus’ listen to da instrument.” 

His mother thinks that’s a very profound, if not adorable, statement. His father immediately pegs him a genius so it’s music lessons henceforth. 

But Eren doesn’t need lessons, he just needs stepping stones that help him to read notes and create his own. Stepping stones to the passion that he wants to follow. And even when he surpasses the teachers and students and becomes a bit of a pariah at his music school that he proudly goes to after regular classes, he still follows his love to the ends of the earth. 

Around that time, his love goes through a metamorphosis wherein he falls completely for his own sound and nothing can sway that kind of love. 

So his father admires his tenacity and his mother loves every piece he composes or recreates, which is when they decide to place him in a music program for gifted students. 

At age six, Eren meets a child named Armin who can hear the imperfections of a tune like no other –can communicate with sound and instruments on an entirely different level than Eren can. He can also write the most complex musical scales that Eren’s ever seen but Armin can’t play instruments. Which is what ends up connecting them. See, Eren can play the music that Armin writes –on the piano, guitar, violin, flute… Eren can play it. Plays it however Armin wants to hear it because Armin can’t play it for himself but Armin’s so in love with the music. Like Eren is. 

They become inseparable. Two peas in a pod. 

Eren meets Mikasa when he’s seven and they’re placed in college level music composition. 

She enters the school with a slew of fancy titles attached to her name and “Prodigy” might as well be defined as Mikasa Ackerman somewhere in the dictionary. She can pick up any instrument and master it in days. A true prodigy indeed. But she’s so quiet and afraid of her own talent that she feels nothing when she plays and it makes her music kind of pointless and pisses Eren off because music is- music is _everything_. Love, passion, hatred, sorrow, happiness, longing, defeat, euphoria… _everything_. 

So when he watches her play one day with the blankest expression, it sets him off like nothing else. Makes him chastise and berate her and lecture her about passions and living and being… 

It sparks a flame in the girl who thinks she knows everything about music and instruments. Makes her want to feel like he does and see what he can in a sound. And Eren accepts her because he has things to learn from her too. Things about music that only she knows and can teach. 

And somehow, the three of them become one happy medium. A symbiotic organism that pulsates music and soaks it up like a sponge. 

A trio that Eren begins on accident but it becomes more than he ever hoped for. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

Eren falls head-over-heels for rock and alternative and grunge and rap and hip-hop and reggae and metal and classical and EDM and indie and soul and… okay. By the time he’s twelve, he’s listened to damn near every genre of music and decides that he has his favorites and wants to combine and collide and mesh a bunch of ‘em together. But he’s only one person and the task isn’t something he can tackle on his own. 

Starting a band it is. 

Which is made easier when middle school starts and their parents ship them off to an international music school for the truly gifted youth. A school just outside of Portland. 

By this point, Eren’s in love with making/listening/generating music more than sitting in a class and being told about music or how to play it. He got the basics out of the way long ago. So he does the bare minimum to pass and places focus on playing and creating. Armin and Mikasa right by his side. 

Two years into the new school, Eren winds up a student favorite but the bane of nearly every teachers’ existence because he has so much potential but- well… Eren doesn’t give a fuck about the potential to study when hands-on has always been his thing. His shtick. And music has always been the love of his life. So he doesn’t give a damn about what anyone thinks (sans Armin and Mikasa who know him oh-so well by this point –their opinions matter). Not that people think bad of him because the majority of them are music-heads and really dig Eren’s passion for it. 

Jean doesn’t. 

Jean who’s Eren’s foil and not-foil all at once. 

Eren meets Jean their very first year in their very first class. Eren thinks he’s okay at first –a guy who can play anything he touches and can read music (Armin’s music). But then he finds out that Jean half-asses everything and doesn’t love music, he’s just in it for the potentials of money and women and upper-crust status. And that knowledge disgusts Eren like nothing else ever has. 

It makes him dislike someone for the first time in his life and Jean doesn’t do anything to fix or alter his perception. Jean just makes it worse with his nasty mouth and sour attitude and blasé regard for music. 

Jean is the reason that Eren starts to get the whole “wasted potential” spiel that his teachers spit at him over and over, which only makes him loathe Jean that much more. 

But Jean hates Eren for opposite reasons. Hates Eren for being “in-love” with music and self-centered enough to openly admit that he’s “obsessed” with his own sound. Hates Eren for preaching about it and honoring it or whatever other bullshit he thinks Eren does when it comes to music. Can’t stand that Eren doesn’t see that music is just a gateway –a tool to advance through life. Make it to an easy life if you’re really good at it. More than any of that, Jean can’t believe they’re on the same level but they have such opposing views. 

So fucking frustrating. 

Still… None of that stops them from forming a band when they’re sixteen. 

Something about their musical-chemistry. 

Armin points it out and tells them that their combination works best because they just mesh. Musically. Musically, they mesh like nothing and no one else. Those two… they generate sounds and tunes and music that pierce the soul and pluck the heartstrings. Makes the brain vibrate and hum with activity. They’re that good together. Musically. 

Socially… well… not so much. Their fist fights and verbal slaughtering of each other are nothing short of annoying and entertaining to everyone outside of themselves. They can’t be in the same room for more than ten minutes without biting down on their insults. So, there’s that. 

But, yeah. Eren still ends up with his band. A band with the ability to make some of the most incredible music. 

Somehow, he ends up on vocals (which he in no way expected) and Eren blames Armin and Mikasa who say that his voice is kind of perfect in its own way (parts gruff and smooth and raw and open with a wide range of pitch). Eren doesn’t mind being vocals because that’s the equivalent of being a living instrument and it’s love all over again. 

Armin can’t play an instrument but he knows music like no other and is good with production and composition and networking. So he opts to arrange and compile tracks to his heart’s content. And then they dub him the manager too because he has those glorious ears and the ability to sell shit to a salesman with that sweet face and innocent smile. 

Mikasa loves the drums –fell in love with their complex simplicity because they remind her of Eren. Of strength and ease without actually being easy. No one complains when she claims the spot –not like they can. 

How Jean joins the band is quite interesting –goes back to the fact that Armin can “sell shit to a salesman”. He gets lured in with the guarantee of money and women and fame and instant progression to the world’s upper-echelon. And he wants to be seen and recognized and assured of his position so he takes lead guitarist and relents to having at least three solo bits (because what awesome motherfucker doesn’t get solos when they’re a lead guitarist –none). He also makes one stipulation: his friends get to join the band too. 

That’s how they end up with a second guitarist (Connie isn’t world class but he’s good at mimicking) and a bassist (Sasha is a bit of an airhead that loves food but she knows her way around a bass and no one can compete). 

And that’s how “The Attack” forms (which is a shitty name by anyone’s standards but Sasha and Connie are the only ones to suggest something so they all just go with it). 

* * *

* * *

* * *

When it all becomes real to Eren –the fact that people listen to his sound (their sound) and like it and want more- is when he’s 19. 

They get signed their junior year in high school (when they’re all around 16 and 17) after playing at seedy bars and clubs and raves and then Armin thinks they’re finally ready so he uses his connections. Armin gets his dad to introduce them to the label head of Def Jam and the label head loves what he hears and he pushes and promotes them and creates their image. Their _brand._

But Eren doesn’t care about any of that –about being made up and toyed with like a doll. So long as he can make the music that he wants and loves and obsesses over, he’s all good. 

Ah, but it becomes real when he’s 19. Becomes something tangible because, at that age, they’re one of the headliners at Coachella and they get the chance to play in front of tens of thousands of people and the crowd is massive and it blows his mind and makes his soul rattle and- 

And that’s when everything is real. 

When it hits him like a shot through the chest that, yes. Yes! People are listening to the music he’s taken the time to create and string together with some of the best musicians that he knows. People can hear him. Them. And they love it. Have fallen in love with something that Eren pours his heart into with each and every performance. 

At that particular moment –when he walks onto the stage and stares out at the bustling mass of bodies thriving beneath the sun- he cries. But the smile that stretches his mouth and the pounding in his ears from his heart thudding beyond his control- that gives away how happy he really is. 

At 19, Eren falls in love for the nth time and then he falls in love with people for the first time because their energy is insane but he doesn’t notice until that moment. 

* * *

#####  II. 

* * *

The first time he hears Eren sing –the absolute first time- Jean swears his body goes through some crazy transmutation that he has no control over whatsoever. He swears because his pulse starts to jump and jerk and then his blood quivers and buzzes as it shoots through his veins. His chest gets all tight like his lungs are collapsing but he can breathe just fine so he doesn’t panic but still. And then his flesh feels like it’s raw and peeling and he wants to think that it’s unpleasant but, that’s the thing. It’s not. It’s the most pleasurable feeling in the world because it’s like being re-birthed –if that’s even a thing. Reborn. Yeah. He’ll go with that. 

Hearing Eren sing for the first time makes him feel like a reincarnated soul. 

Makes him feel like he’s being introduced to music for the first time all over again and he’s completely forgotten somewhere along the way what that was like. His first introduction to music, that is. 

Eren- Fucking Eren and his voice- makes Jean remember the first time he ever touches an instrument. When he was a kid and playing with instruments was like playing with toys: fun, pure, and something he looked forward to. But that meaning falls to the way side when his dad _makes_ him play and _makes_ him practice and _tells_ him that it’s a job. Tells him that music can be his future and his envoy to a good life. To a life with all of the pleasures that the world has to offer. 

It’s not a hobby and it’s not something that people do for _fun._

That’s the lesson that Jean learns as a brat. 

So, when he starts high school, meeting Eren for the first time immediately rubs Jean the wrong way because that idiot has the audacity to have _fun_ playing an instrument and then he dares to say that he’s “in love” or some shit and it’s all ridiculous. Makes Jean hate him for the simple fact that he’s one of those people who just wants to play to play and will end up doing jack shit with their talents and- what a waste. 

And then he hears Eren sing for the first time… 

It’s Armin’s fault. Armin who corners him at lunch and asks him to join some potentially shitty band with that dick, Eren. Jean’s immediate response is “no” because he can’t stand being around Eren for five minutes, let alone long enough to compose a song. He swears they don’t mesh and they hate each other and they have completely different ideas and views about what a band’s goals are. Plus, Jean thinks that Eren’s shit so… But Armin promises they’ll be a success if they just work together. He feeds Jean some lines about chemistry and flow and energies aligning. Musically. 

Jean calls bullshit. 

Armin asks him to just listen in on Eren singing just once and, if he’s still not convinced, Armin will write for him exclusively the remainder of their high school career. 

How can Jean pass up an opportunity to screw Eren over and listen to him butcher vocals? He can’t. But, on the off chance that he’s wrong, he makes Armin promise to never tell Eren about any of this and then, if he decides to join the band, he gets to be lead guitarist. There’s more but… but it all becomes irrelevant the second they enter Auditorium G. 

What Jean sees is Mikasa playing the piano and Eren standing under a crooked spotlight beside her and he’s singing with everything that he has. Singing like there’s some sort of purpose to it but, as far as Eren knows, Mikasa’s the only person in the room. What he hears spewing from that mouth is sex and rage and power and sorrow and pain and pleasure and love and hope and sin. Savior. Eren’s voice… it has a way of taking a dozen emotions and streamlining them into this beautiful hymn that conjures memories and dreams and desires and angst all at once. 

What Jean hears and visualizes is his own instrumental melody aligning to that voice to generate something unfathomable. Making music that surpasses anything either of them have ever created alone but together… ah. 

Musical chemistry indeed. Armin hadn’t exaggerated about that. 

Hearing Eren sing for the first time, Jean figures out why it is Eren’s so in love with music and then his own mind supplies him with the recollection of being hopelessly in love with music at some point too. And then Jean hates that asshole Eren all the more for making him remember that feeling. For making him have these regrets that he didn’t have before. 

But, Armin is right. He can fulfill his dreams and goals by being in a band with the last person he ever wants to associate with so… 

So Jean agrees and everything else just falls into place after that. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

The first time Jean ends up with a split lip and sore tongue is when he’s 14 and he tells Eren, “ _Fuck you and fuck your shitty music you ass-”._ He never gets to finish that sentence because Eren punches him right in the mouth and the kid has one hell of a left hook but Jean doesn’t think about that then. What he thinks is red –sees it, hears it, tastes it, smells it, feels it. And then he’s tackling Eren and they’re fighting. Exchanging blows and insults that cut deeper than any knife. 

Mikasa and Marco break them up before the teacher gets in. 

Eren gets dragged out of the room and he’s yelling something about “hate” this and “suck” that. 

Jean’s spitting blood into the trashcan and walking the opposite direction and thinking. Still has red on his mind but he’s trying to ignore it. 

That’s probably the first time he thinks he really hates someone. 

And it’s not the last time he has that thought where it concerns Eren, nor is it the last time that they physically fight. 

The last time they physically fight is after a concert set in Seattle. 

Armin pulls him and Eren to the side and tells them to arrange the song list for the next concert right then and there and “no, it can’t wait” because they’re way off schedule and need to get moving when Sasha and Connie get back. Usually, Armin’s with them as a buffer when it comes to handling things for the band –Armin or Mikasa or Sasha and Connie. Usually, Jean’s not even around after a concert ends because there are groupies, plenty of ‘em, and he takes his pick of two and then he’s at a hotel. Usually. 

But they’re crunching time and everyone’s busy (no time for play) so Armin pushes them into the large dressing room backstage like he trusts them to work it out. Like he doesn’t know their personalities or how poison seems to seep into any room that contains them both for an extended period of time. 

But, for some reason after four years of doing things one way, Armin thinks they can handle doing it differently. 

How wrong he is. 

It takes all of five minutes before Jean has Eren pinned against the wall by his collar. Five. And Eren’s staring up at him with defiant and confident green-blue eyes –daring him to throw the first punch. Jean’s ready to do just that but his body betrays him. Instead of a punch, he’s yanking Eren up and forward and crushing their mouths together like it’s the answer to everything. 

Nothing that follows that collision of mouths is gentle. 

Not the kiss –it’s all teeth and sharp, stinging bites to lips and tongues. It’s gnawing and cussing with Eren grunts in between a harsh inhale “You’re a fucking idiot” and Jean growling between grappling tongues, “You’re a fucking moron, fucking hate you”. Eren laughs and tugs at Jean’s lip ring until it stings and then he nips his way to Jean’s ear and bites that gauged lobe until blood is drawn, “Can’t stand you, you asshole”. But neither of them stop chasing after mouths and jaws and throats until they’re both bruised with swollen mouths and heaving chests. 

Nothing is gentle. 

Not the fall –Eren pushes Jean and he stumbles backwards before tripping over a chair and busting his ass but not his head when he hits to the ground and then Eren is on top of him and Jean thinks they’re really going to fight. Erection be damned. But they don’t. Eren’s teeth knock into Jean’s and there’s blood from the impact but they ignore it. Keep clawing at Each other and attacking mouths and sensitive flesh. At some point, Jean gets Eren on his back and pressed to the floor and devours Eren’s salted and tattooed right shoulder –licks and sucks and mouths the skin right at the junction where neck meets shoulder. Leaves a gorgeous and blossoming mark. 

The sex certainly isn’t all that gentle. What with Jean snatching Eren’s clothes off like he’s starving for him and Eren clawing Jean’s back (leaving angry crimson lines in taut muscle like an outline) and biting down until his teeth leave an imprint –bites down everywhere his mouth can touch. 

At some point, they both know that they’re definitely going to fuck. Jean’s not sure how they get there but they do. They use Vaseline for lube because it’s in the dressing room and Eren preps himself and Jean thinks “Jesus fucking Christ” because he’s never seen a guy prep himself before and then, he’s never thought about how fucking sexy Eren is when he’s not being a jackass so there’s that. And Eren works himself open and makes these noises and grins wickedly when he’s done. Stares with glowing teal eyes that draw Jean in and make Jean _want_. 

And then Eren’s sitting on top of the vanity when he’s done and he says with the same cocky confidence that he says everything else with, “We gonna do this?” 

Jean groans and doesn’t have to think about his answer and he certainly doesn’t need to be asked twice. He’s so hard he can’t think beyond that and then he’s letting his jeans slip down his hips a bit and his fingers fumble over his cock as he rolls on the condom and then he’s finally, finally, pushing into Eren with abandon. Tight. So tight and hot and good and- And Eren bites the fuck out of his shoulder. Tells him to aim left –a dead giveaway that this is not the first time Eren’s had cock but Jean sort of knew that. Doesn’t want to think about it because it makes him feel all types of ways. So he stops thinking and starts moving. Grips Eren’s hips when he pulls out and slams back in, cants to the left. 

Eren’s mouth falls open and he gasps –throws his head back so hard it puts a crack in the mirror behind him. Jean thinks it’s the sexiest thing and then he’s fucking into Eren like an amateur because it’s so sloppy and messy and reckless but at least he gets to watch Eren collapse and crumble into a thousand jagged pieces. And he can’t believe what he’s seeing or thinking. 

“Fuck me…” He murmurs because Eren is- fuck. Eren’s beautiful when he just lets go. 

And Eren can’t say anything –can’t work his mouth to form words but he makes sounds and he holds tight to the edge of the vanity and he feels like he’s performing. Parts floating and all adrenaline and then the passion… the intensity of it all is too much and so little all at once and he can’t deal. It makes him light headed, makes his gut clench and his veins throb. Feels incredible. 

“Ah shit… shit…” Jean can feel it –his balls tightening and he’s getting ready to cum but he so doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to stop and he doesn’t want to cum before Eren. So he snatches Eren’s jaw and kisses him and Eren’s arms slide under his and nails dig into flesh and Eren kisses back. Jean blindly lets his hand fall between them and he jerks Eren’s cock to no set rhythm but Eren’s leaking already so he doubt it matters. 

When Eren mewls into his mouth and muscles grip at his cock, Jean knows Eren’s cumming and he smirks and grunts and slams his hips forward over and over –wild. Just like a savage beast but he’s never had sex like this. Never. 

So fucking powerful, he’s breaking. 

“Jean!” It’s the first coherent thing Eren’s said in a long time but the sound of it- it’s reminiscent of when Eren’s singing and it makes Jean spill his seed in seconds. 

The after isn’t gentle. 

They catch their breaths and Eren waits no more than three minutes before he’s pushing Jean off of him and wincing and stretching his legs and pulling on his clothes. 

Jean’s confused and not but he hates the silence so he says, “What the hell did we just do?” 

“We fucked.” Eren looks amused when he pulls his pants on but then he makes a face that looks a bit pained and Jean feels somewhat good about that. 

His back feels raw (like his skin has been methodically peeled away) and he can see blood on his shoulder and his left ear in the reflection of the cracked mirror. “I know that, jackass. I mean, why?” 

“That sounds like something you should be asking yourself, dumbass. You’re the one who kissed me and I figured this was better than breaking your nose.” Eren shrugs and stares at his ripped shirt. 

“You figure fucking me is better than fighting me?” Jean stares because, honestly, Eren confuses him a shit ton and he doesn’t think that’ll change any time soon. 

“Sure. We got all of that energy expelled and we still sort of look like we beat the shit out of each other, minus the black eyes. Whoever said that hate sex was good sex wasn’t lying.” 

“It really irks me how blasé you are about all of this.” 

Eren pauses and stares –one of those long and drawn out looks that piss Jean off under any other circumstance. “It surprises me how much you’re harping on this. We fucked. Big deal. We’re both consenting adults.” 

“But we hate each other.” 

“I don’t hate you, I just hate everything you stand for and your shitty personality.” 

Jean snorts, “Basically, you hate me.” 

“If that’s what you want to think but- look, we still need to come up with that stupid song list-” 

Currently, Jean can’t possibly care any less about the fucking song list. His mind is shot to shit. Leave it to Eren. “Choose whatever. My brain’s not working right now and I really don’t give a fuck.” 

That makes Eren stop and stare for the nth time because- really? That’s it? “If I’d known that fucking you was the key to getting my way without a fight or argument, I would’ve thought of this a long time ago.” 

Well… that’s one way to look at things and it makes Jean openly laugh. “I thought I was the one who thought of this.” 

“Meh. I went through with it so I’d say it’s a joint effort. At most.” Eren grabs his bag and turns towards the door. “Alright, I’m heading out but, about the list… I’ll make sure you get a few of the songs you like to play too, yeah.” 

“Sure thing.” 

And then Eren’s gone and Jean’s left to his thoughts. 

But that day in Seattle- That’s their last physical altercation. It’s not their last argument. 

Or the last time they have sex. 

##### 

* * *

III. 

* * *

It becomes this _thing_. The fact that he occasionally has sex with Jean. The little voice that belongs to Armin and poses as his conscience says, “Not occasionally”, which, okay. Fine. He and Jean fuck quite a bit and Eren blames the fact that it makes the music better. Makes his sound something ethereal and harmonic and- And Eren’s in love. Not with Jean. Just- He’s in love with what having sex with Jean helps him create. Clears his mind in this way that makes it easier for him to connect with a tune or pitch or timbre or melody before stringing it all together with his emotions and- 

And having sex with Jean becomes this _thing_. 

Has it’s perks. 

They don’t try to beat the shit out of each other anymore. Instead, they argue and then they’re making excuses to leave the tour bus or hotel or restaurant or dressing room and then they’re seeking each other out and grappling for control and screwing like it’s their mission. When it ends –the sex- they’ll share a cigarette and a laugh or they’ll say nothing and go their separate ways. Most of the time, Eren feels inspired and he’ll write –on paper or tissue or a condom wrapper or his arm. He gets the urge to write and, if they’re near an instrument, he’ll make Jean mess around with some chords or keys until he aligns the perfect sound with the words he’s jotted down and it’s epic. 

It’s epic because he manages to create platinum singles on account of songs that he comes up with after sex with Jean so they must be on to something. 

Or it’s just Jean. 

Because Eren loves sex as much as the next guy. Loves it. Indulges in it because there’s something about being submerged in the pleasures of life. And those pleasures ignite his blood and his mind and he gets so inspired –by life and gratification and passion and pain. So inspired. 

And then there’s Jean. 

Jean who he couldn’t tolerate three years ago but, after three years of sex and music, they get along decently enough. And- fine. 

Maybe it’s more than sex. 

Maybe he’s attracted to more than just Jean’s musical talents (because Jean is handsome with his dual colored undercut and sharp topaz eyes and piercings). 

Maybe Eren likes the fact that they’re not fighting and Jean’s personality isn’t as shitty as he thought it was. 

Maybe he likes the snatches of normal conversation and kinship that have seeped into their relationship since they started having sex. 

And maybe Mikasa and Armin have been onto something when it comes to him and Jean (because they insist that it’s more than sex these days). 

Maybe. 

It’s those thoughts (and similar ones) that prompt Eren to ask Jean out on an actual date. 

He decides to do it one night when they’re at the studio. 

Jean’s in the booth sitting on the piano bench tuning his guitar and laughing at something Marco is saying and laughing even harder when Sasha chips in. Eren doesn’t get to see those expressions much but he’s always been captivated when Jean’s face breaks into any expression that doesn’t hold a negative connotation. He’s idly watching from his seat on the couch where he’s going over some lyrics while Armin fiddles with a track with Mikasa dishing out pointers. It’s not easy to concentrate on writing or tweaking a song when he’s thinking about other things –when there are distractions. So it’s best to just get it over with and if Jean says no- well- they don’t exactly have a history of being on great terms so Eren won’t blame him. 

Things might get awkward for a bit but they’ll fall back into place. 

Eren’s not afraid of rejections. He’s been rejected a dozen times over throughout the course of his life. Not when it’s come to dating or sex but when it’s come to his music. And if he can deal with the rejection of something that makes his heart pump and constricts his soul then he can deal with the potential rejection of someone not wanting to be with him. It’s that simple. 

So he drops his notebook onto the couch and walks over to the booth –doesn’t bother knocking before he goes in because those four (Connie, Marco, and Sasha) aren’t doing anything aside from talking. 

Jean’s the first to look up and their gazes lock –makes that light and soft expression harden a few notches. But it’s still not a deterrent. “Need something?” 

Eren can’t decipher that tone but, again, it doesn’t matter. He needs a clear mind for his music so- “Yeah. Wanna get dinner with me tonight?” 

Honey brown eyes narrow and Jean’s brow creases. He opens his mouth, snaps it shut, and repeats before he settles on, “Just you and me or-” 

“Just you and me.” 

And then there’s silence for a moment before Sasha literally squeals and grins and pokes Eren’s cheek. “Are you asking Jean out on a date?” 

Something about her reaction makes him flush and tugs his lips into this small little smile, “Yeah.” 

And Jean is still staring like he can’t believe what’s happening and it’s Marco who punches his arm and grins and blurts out- “Isn’t this what you’ve wanted for the last, I dunno, three years?” 

That makes Jean scowl and sets his entire face on fire. “Dude!” 

Marco shrugs, “It’s the truth.” 

“Really?” Eren’s heart is beating erratically and he’s having a hard time breathing because- three years? Jean’s wanted to go on a date with him for three years? 

Jean doesn’t look at him when he stands up. He just sits his guitar down and grabs Eren’s wrists and calls over his shoulder, “I’ll be back.” And then they’re standing in the hallway not saying anything. 

Standing. 

With Jean’s warm and calloused fingers wrapped around his wrists. 

And Eren’s mind is racing a mile a minute because he gets this idea for a song –one about secrets and sex and uncertainty that ebbs away at the mind until it’s all that a person can think about. He gets the idea and then he glances up at Jean from beneath thick lashes and Jean’s finally staring at him again but the look in those eyes… 

Makes Eren think of the song that he wants to write. 

“After all of this time, you want to go on a date?” 

Eren smiles, “You mean, after meaninglessly fucking for three years, I’m finally asking you out on a date?” 

Jean laughs and lets his thumb ghost along the throbbing vein on the underside of Eren’s wrist. “Or that.” 

“Then yes.” 

“Why now?” 

That’s a good question. “Because you bring out the best in my music, if you haven’t noticed. And because, after three years of meaninglessly fucking, I’ve started to like you for who you are now and not as the asshole with the shitty personality that pissed me off when I was a teenager.” 

Jean snorts. “You sure know how to woo a guy.” 

“So I hear.” Eren shifts his weight and now he feels a little nervous –chews on his lip and averts his gaze type of nervous. “But, um, dinner?” 

“God yes!” And then Jean’s lips are pressed to Eren’s and Eren melts into the kiss. 

He melts and it’s not even their usual kiss –where they’re impatient and attempting to climb down each other’s throat with this insane urgency built out of frustration or anger. It’s soft and tender. Just a pressing of lips and Jean’s tongue teasing at the seam of Eren’s mouth before he nips at plush flesh and leans away. 

Eren feels a little dizzy but- “Why’d you wait for me to ask if you wanted this three years ago?” 

“Honestly, I don’t know how to deal with you because you confuse the fuck out of me so I just follow your lead.” 

“In other words, you didn’t have the balls to ask me out?” 

“I’ll let that slide right now because I really, really, want to have dinner with you tonight.” 

“Why?” Eren’s surprised when he asks but, he kind of can’t believe that Jean’s wanted to _date_ him for a while now. Can’t believe it. 

Jean can’t believe he’s about to say what he’s about to say but- well- he already has Eren for the most part so- “Because I like you. It’s a love/hate thing when it comes to you. I mean, you’re so fucking in love with music and you give your all when it comes to the shit you love. Shit like that is admirable and enviable. Thinking back, I was just a jealous prick and you pissed me off because you’re everything I’m not when it comes to this whole music thing. And you’re not that cocky little sonuvabitch that I thought you were when we were teenage pricks.” He runs a shaky hand through his hair and glances into curious teal eyes. 

Eyes that are searching and anxious and hopeful and- fuck. 

Eren is beautiful, which Jean says before he tacks on, “But I knew that much since the first time we hooked up.” 

“Don’t we make a pair.” A pair of idiots but Eren doesn’t need to say that for it to be implied. “For dinner… wanna head out now?” Because he doesn’t feel like waiting. 

Something about their interaction is all too inspiring and being around Jean like this… It makes Eren want to create and it makes him want to know everything about this one person that captures his attention and poses as the best possible muse. 

“Yeah, just- what are we doing here?” Jean needs to know because he’s tired of Eren mind fucking him without even trying to. He’s getting too old for guessing games (although, 23 isn’t that old but he feels like it is). For once, he just wants them to be on the same page. 

Eren can’t help smiling because he remembers that first time they were together and he remembers when Jean asked that same question- “We’re going on our first date, which is long overdue but better late than never. And after the first date, we’ll go on a second, a third, a couple dozen more… and, maybe, we’ll decide that we like each other enough to make this whole thing into something official.” 

“I like the sound of that.” Which prompts him to kiss Eren one more time and he laughs into that waiting mouth and thinks about how stupid they were and are. 

Eren’s elated because he’s thrumming with this overwhelming urge to create and to submerse himself in all of the best pleasures and he can do that. He can do that with Jean. 

* * *

* * *

* * *

The media dubs them “Best Friends” at first. 

They get stalked by the paparazzi at restaurants and clubs and premiers and theme parks, which isn’t new but it usually happens when they’re apart more often than when they’ve ever been together. Eren thinks it’s ridiculous that those outings are enough to erase their long standing hostile history and it’s more ridiculous that that’s enough to grant Jean the title as his “best friend”. Armin and Mikasa are and will forever be his best friends and have been since he was child, yet, Jean somehow gets the job after three months of dating. 

What the hell is that? 

Eren does and doesn’t get it. 

He gets it because: The first time they show up on the cover of a magazine –ever- is when they’re 18 and they get in this fight at a bar and they’re “fresh money” and their in-band feud is made public knowledge. That isn’t the last time that they’re on a cover on account of their fighting but Eren’s never paid the media much attention. But Armin does and Armin’s the one who explains that, to the world, their friendship is a shock on account of their past. It’s even more of a shock that they’re always caught together these days and that those encounters don’t dissolve into a brawl. And they do seem awfully friendly but. 

But Eren doesn’t get: why people give a fuck. What’s so interesting about the personal lives of people in a band. That type of thing doesn’t add or detract from the music they make so he doesn’t exactly understand why people pry or watch or care –like perverse voyeurs that live vicariously through them. And he doesn’t get how people come to the consensus that they’re friends, which doesn’t end up mattering. 

See, the rumor about them dating pops up around the 8 month mark and the headlines read “Potential life partners?”, which sounds so dumb. Yet, it’s at least a truth. A truth that the world kind of explodes over and whenever Eren does an interview or appearance or anything that involves opening his mouth for people that he doesn’t know personally he’s asked about his relationship with Jean. 

Now, he’s not ashamed of his relationship or his sexual preferences because those are just subsets of who he innately is and, innately, Eren’s a musician. 

Jean, on the other hand, used to be all over magazines and TMZ and those sorts of things for being this serial dater and a playboy. He was the band mate always pooled for those stupid “Top __ Sexiest Men” polls where he always ranked in the top 10. So Jean’s known for women and sex, fast cars and a fast-paced life, and that whole intra-band feud that’s old news at current but all of that gets piled on top of his guitar skills. 

What Jean’s not known for is being any type of queer. 

So the world explodes over that sort of news. And people are talking and speculating and asking questions. Women are coming forth putting in their own two cents where Jean is concerned –some don’t believe it and others saw it coming. It’s crazy. And Eren thinks that it’s a waste of time and discussion because they’re just people that make incredible music but he’s not a dumbass so he knows this kind of thing matters in this industry. 

And he’s worried about how Jean is taking it all because Jean doesn’t bother to answer any of those questions and he doesn’t indulge in the speculations and he also doesn’t change anything about their private relationship but he also doesn’t admit to anything when they’re in public. 

Until he does. 

It happens during the premier of **_Batman_** (the umpteenth remake) right on the red carpet. 

Next to music, Eren’s always been in love with comics and he finds out that he and Jean have that in common early on in their relationship. Jean surprises him with passes to the premier so they go and nothings out of the ordinary (which Eren is still astonished by because he doesn’t know what Jean thinks about all of the media attention surrounding them). 

So they show up and they look good and they’re laughing and posing for pictures and then a reporter for E! News stops them. She asks with the biggest smile, “Can we call this outing a date?” 

Eren’s temper flares because he’s so quick to get upset and he’s tired of people digging into his personal life. 

But Jean… Jean grins and glances at Eren and says, “What else would it be.” 

For some reason, that public admission makes Eren turn crimson and he bites his lip and whips his head to stare at Jean because- because he’s surprised and then he’s surprised at his surprise. And then he’s crazy happy because he doesn’t realize that he’s been worried about how Jean feels about being a quintessential “them” until that very moment. Which is probably when he thinks that he loves Jean. 

But it’s definitely the moment where the world finds out that those rumors aren’t baseless because Jean calls him “Cute”, right before pulling him into a kiss that blurs his vision and corrodes his mind and makes his heart stutter. 

That kiss is talked about around the world for months. 

And it’s the kiss that changes everything for the better. For them. 

* * *

**END-ISH**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> This one ends with a sense that there's more and I suppose that there could be but this is a one-shot so the rest is up to your imagination. Maybe I'll go back and slap an unconventional epilogue in there, yeah? Maybe. Well, hope you guys enjoyed and thanks to all who read.
> 
> You know what to do: If you dug it, drop me a line or hit that kudos button!


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